Shawn Levi

This is my experience in Tom's February retreat: After coming to my first retreat in December of 2023, I absolutely knew I had to come to the next one. A few things about me: I'm the type of person that is usually a little skeptical about spiritual retreats and their capacity for long term change, but I've been working with Tom for a while and it has been the absolute real deal, so I was really excited to meet him in person and practice with him. I didn't know what to expect going in, but it turned out much better than I had anticipated. On the first retreat, I confronted my insecurities about money and safety, but most importantly I began to be able to be open up and share my emotions of loneliness, isolation and disconnection with others, and how we all feel this way sometimes (and that there is a lot of potential for connection with these feelings as well). Also, I made a few really good friends that have been an important part of my life since, and that I see a strong connection with for a long time in the future. This all paved way to this next February retreat. It was like the Avengers were coming back together, some of my favorite people and some others that I have briefly met, but was sure to have a blast with. The retreat started way before the date we all got together. The attendee's were in charge of organizing where to stay, what to eat, who to cook, and who to drive, and the process of everything coming together was an awesome bonding experience that got us closer and to get to know one another before meeting. There are always so many personalities that come together, and with everyone having their own responsibility, the community really starts to form. On retreat, each person talks about the some of the main issues they have been facing in their lives. Whether this is done in an intimate one-on-one conversation, or in front of the 10-man-group, we are all sharing about some of the challenges we are facing, supporting one-another, and giving each-other honest but supportive feedback. Everyone gets to be fully themselves, and the environment of love truly facilitates this. We are constantly engaging in heart-to-heart communication, and everyone is always looking out for each-other. Even since the last retreat, there was so much growth in every single person- we all came back to share the stories of the trials and tribulations we faced, and what we learned from them. This retreat was especially important for me. The last few months in Los Angeles had been quite tough for me. I had been working quite hard, and I felt quite bogged down and disconnected due to all the pressure I had been under. And so, on the first day of retreat, just being surrounded by all the love allowed me to relax and come back to myself. I spent half of the first day crying and releasing, just returning to peace and calm and a feeling of wholeness and spirit. I could finally relax again. The next day was tough but bonding. In this day, I had to confront my feelings of inferiority. We all had to perform something we wern't good at, but I thought I was especially bad at it. We all had our own challenging feelings and thoughts about this practice, and at the end when we all got to share our experience, I realized that I wasn't alone in my struggle, and that how well everyone "performed" wasn't important at all: the beauty behind it is that we all stuck in it together (for the most part) and we all struggled together. Everyone had their own part in uplifting the group and helping us get through it, and everyone had their own story behind the same experience. The last day was where I felt like our presence really deepened. By the third day, we had all gotten in the groove of being in harmony and in loving awareness, and we sank into practice effortlessly. By this time, I felt very connected to some of the deeper parts of myself that I had been longing to make contact with. I felt confident and capable and present, and all the effort and work of the previous days of mantra and singing and confrontation had paid off. It was clear to me the correlation between spiritual practice and capacity in real life, just as clear as lifting weights and going to the gym makes you have bigger muscles. Everything had just felt a lot more real to me. And the nutrients of all the months work I've done since the previous retreat had settled in. Through making new friends (and the compassion comes along with that) on this retreat, it has been easier to be more understanding and accepting of myself. Every single person that came to retreat has so much wisdom and depth and love to them, and I feel blessed that I get to be around and meet such wonderful people. Through concentration practice and mantra, I feel more energy and strength in doing hard things. And through spiritual practice, I feel more connected and trusting of the universe. More than three weeks have passed and I can say assuredly the openness and energy I gained in this retreat have stayed and have expanded my capacity in life. Additionally, some feedback I got has settled in: I feel like I have more control over peak emotions and that I hold myself back less. I apologize less and I have more confidence in myself. Looking forward to what the future holds, and thank you Tom for hosting this retreat (and for everyone else coming and making it happen)