Resources
Tom’s Words
Follow Tom on X (opens in a new tab)Life will give you everything you need for your development, but it helps if you seize the initiative.
To increase your ability to notice opportunities and listen to your intuition, try this exercise:
For 30 seconds, accept everything as it is. Feel this acceptance bodily. Focus on the feeling of this acceptance. Notice that when you fully accept everything, no thought is necessary.
Use this momentary quiet to ask a question of yourself, and non-judgmentally notice the answers.
Think of the thing you love most. Feel that. Ask yourself “does this love go away even when I don’t feel it…”
Is it always there?
Love is what you are, not what you feel…
Self love means loving your potential also. Loving what you are capable of. And then listening to the heart becomes purpose.
The practice is in everyday life.
A few of Tom’s reflections from the Self Love Army community, collected here to read and return to.
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You must train yourself to see from the heart, not the mind.
You don’t have to love one on one; like individual at a time. Learn to love shared humanity through acceptance gratitude joy and compassion for suffering; you don’t need to focus individually on your family to love them, you can love them all around you collectively. Learn to love in many ways
Before you transcend life love life:
- Get your mood up
- Stretch
- Exercise
- Play
- Laugh
- Eat clean
- Sunlight
- Journal about feelings (see accept love them)
- Speak to friends
- Help others and check up on one another
All feelings are fuel for peace
This isn’t a path of non reaction
It’s a path of using feeling and reactions skillfully— for love
Join the Self Love Army
Podcasts
1:29:45Your Wife Is Your Guru: Tantra, Nervous Systems & How Smart Men End Up in Cults Ft. Thomas Whigham
Louis Brantmeyer · YouTube
Tom joins Louis Brantmeyer to discuss intimacy as a spiritual practice and working with the emotional patterns relationships bring to the surface. They also explore discernment around spiritual teachers and groups, and the value of trusting your own experience.
49:05Boundless Embodiment Podcast Ep 2 - From Inadequacy to Self-Love - Interview w/ Thomas Whigham
Boundless Embodiment · YouTube
Tom explores how shame and feelings of inadequacy can become starting points for self-acceptance. The conversation connects emotional awareness and self-love with confidence, purpose, and more meaningful relationships.