Men

Men

If you are looking to uncover legitimate emotional issues (and not merely anxiety masquerading as issues), intentionally seek out adversity.

Many of us come to believe our anxiety explains our emotional issues (I disagree; fear is not reality). Anxiety is a particular subset of delusional thinking brought about by specific neural pathways being activated in a loop (the word loop always reminds me to shout out to Social Prime). It relates to our hippocampus and amygdala. It is a learned, conditioned, maladaptive response based on disorderly thinking. I’ve had and overcome some of the worst anxiety you can imagine (hard to say I was not agoraphobic at one point—almost seized by anxiety just leaving my house).

But again, anxiety is not the all encompassing emotional issue it can appear to be, and neither is depression.

Depression and anxiety are two topics I’ll be touching on a lot in the coming month.

But for now, if you’re looking to identify your major emotional obstacles, encounter adversity and see what you FEEL, not what you think. Many of you will find that avoiding things is causing you anxiety, and not DOING things is causing you to be depressed. There are men here for whom a day of laundry is an absolute achievement. There are men here who can approach a woman with casual ease, but struggle to get over the hump and show her vulnerability.

I’d like everyone here to notice their thoughts. Notice the small voices in the back of your head running in almost constant. Notice that and learn to dispel its ability to dictate your reality. Learn to stop it, turn it off, and instead produce positive self talk.

Face adversity and notice the small but constant voices saying you are not enough. That voice is wrong. It’s fear and shame and bullshit. It’s got origins that can be clearly illuminated and dispelled. For now just learn to turn it off. It isn’t truth, it’s an overactive maladaptive pretense at keeping things ordered and understood. It’s the illusion of control through analysis. Embrace who you are not what you feel you can control.