Jaemin Yi

A lot of people talk about non-dual awakening (seeing through the illusion of mind, realizing there is no self, time, separation, etc) with such stark, intense language. This idea that you’ll have to give up EVERYTHING - your identity, beliefs, control, etc. They’re not wrong per se...that is actually what happens. But it’s NOWHERE near as intense and brutal as the language makes it seem! When you hear stuff like, “this is the end of you!” it sounds so big and dramatic - and at first, when initially realizing this, it certainly can feel quite dramatic. But once things settle down, it’s actually quite simple. Gentle. Even “duh, obvious...what’s the big deal?” (That’s why awakening is often referred to as the cosmic joke. Once it’s realized, it’s almost laughable how big of a deal we made it, how heavy and lofty we imagined it, when it’s actually the most natural and ordinary thing ever...we just got a little too caught up in our heads to see it) None of these things you’re “giving up” was ever real in the first place. So you’re not actually losing anything, you’re not actually destroying anything. You’re just slowly dropping some weird inculcated beliefs and perspectives. And this also won’t be the grand end-all-be-all it’s often lionized as. Don’t get me wrong - it’s still one of the most important things I’ve ever learned. It’ll help let go of a lot of unnecessary suffering. The idea that you’re “incomplete” or “lacking” just won’t make sense anymore (and seeking to fulfill that lack will no longer be the core motivation behind most of your actions). But you’ll still be in a human body, feeling human feelings, still saddled with your human triggers and patterns and traumas and relationship issues, and life will more or less feel like it always has...but with less pressure, heaviness, and feeling like you have to micromanage every second of your life. But a nondual “head awakening” by itself, without a “heart awakening” feels incomplete to me. And even unhealthy. It feels like going halfway up the mountain and getting stuck. A lot of people who get into this space end up becoming kinda lifeless, static, empty (trust me, I was stuck there for years). They may not be overwhelmed with mind-induced suffering anymore...but they’re also not thriving. They’re not calling their moms and friends saying “I love you.” They’re not diving deeper into connection and beauty and service. They’re not fully stepping into who they’re meant to be in the world - and for the world. Personally, I believe that combining the head awakening WITH the heart awakening is reaalllly where it’s at Anyways, I just wanted to push back on some of the mystique that nondual awakening gets. And also this narrative that it has to be this heavy, brutal, white knuckling journey. It doesn’t have to be that at all. That’s ego shit right there, thinking that letting go of imaginary ideas is some intense, epic hero’s journey where you have to push yourself to the absolute BRINK to find truth...oh c’mon ego, you drama queen! It can be that if you want it to be. But the journey can also be gentle, light, freeing, and even fun. And I have a feeling that it’s part of my purpose (and probably Erica’s too) to eventually find a way to teach this in a balanced, healthy, easeful manner. And to combine it with the path of the heart, which is where the juice is REALLY at. Each one on its own is quite powerful (although I now agree with Thomas...if I could only choose one, the heart path feels healthier and more beneficial). But when you combine BOTH of them together?? Oooooweee now that’s where this shit REALLY gets cooking! *chef’s kiss*